26.8.12

Dear Boyfriend: A letter to all the boyfriends out there.

You are the one who first wanted this relationship, not me. Remember when you first approached me? It's not the other way around. This is a relationship, and there are two people in a relationship, not three, not one. TWO. It's called "COUPLES". And couples do things together; not everything, but mostly everything about their relationship. So yea, don't expect me to do the "make everything work out" alone. We should do it together.

I don't really ask you to text me every minute, but please, do inform me of your whereabouts, especially when you're leaving the house. When you're with your friends, please make sure they're just your friends. You don't want me to blow a bitch's head in front of your friends, do you?

Let's not argue over petty things. There's a thing called "talking", might as well try it out.

There are other guys in the world, some of them are my friends, if you know what I mean. And there's a thin line between friends and "friends" and I know the difference when you're only being a friend and "being a friend". You wouldn't want me to figure out your dirt. I'm pretty sure you don't to see your penis hanging on the ceiling. Not that I'm saying that you have a whore or something, just a reminding you of the consequences if you have one.

You have a chance to explain if I get jealous. I wouldn't just rip your heads off without hearing anything from you. Just make sure you're telling the truth.

I didn't ask for a robot, so don't expect me to tell you everything that a boyfriend has to do. You know your responsibilities as my boyfriend, please do it.

I'm not being selfish, I'm just trying to warn you. People don't really like it whenever I get mad over something.

Oh, and by the way, there are two types of mad-me. One is the not-really-mad-me, that's when you can still talk to me and your chance to say your I'm-sorry lines. And there's the shut-the-fuck-up-mad-me, that's when you have to run as fast as you can because I'm gonna blow the fuck out of your head when catch you. You have to know the difference. I know the difference between an alibi and an explanation, so don't you dare.

Lying is the second worst thing you'll ever do, cheating is the first worst thing. Remember, a mad girlfriend is very dangerous. Don't make me mad, or your life will be in danger.

Sincerely,
Your Girlfriend.

LOL. Wala lang akong magawa. See you later, refrigerator. Open you mind not your legs ;)

Bacon.

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