5.7.13

Chapters: Confession of an Overly Attached Reader

As I flip through the pages of my dead tree, I feel my soul slowly sinking. As if the pages swallow every inch of me. That muzzy feeling you get when you get too attached with something, like you don't to let go.

If someone would be asking me now if I have ever fallen in love, I would say yes. My love for books, especially now, is unparalleled. I know people think I'm crazy when I say I'm in love with the characters from my books. But, yes, I am indeed in love.

I have no idea what true love is. I don't even know if I can explain it in words. But that feeling as if you want to breakdown whenever you part, whenever I try to close the pages. I feel empty, lightheaded, out of this world.

As I read the last words of "Divergent", I feel like the world stopped on my feet. Or was it me who stopped in this speeding world? In two days, I felt so heavy whenever I have to do something else aside from reading. I was on my job interview when I was reading the book. The waiting time was like forever, so whenever I have the chance to read, I would. Fifty pages every time I have to go back to the waiting area. I can't wait for the next chapter to come. I didn't try to skim a single page. I wanted it to last, at the same time, I also want to know what will happen next. Every flip, every turn, it breaks my heart, knowing that soon, the book would end. Three parts, and I only have one. It's like reading the prologue and never read the whole story.

Every time I open the pages is like letting a sinkhole swallow me. Beyond every word, I fall farther. Getting lost in a book has been my favorite pastime lately. I let my soul wander in the world only readers know. Whenever I have to go back to the real world, it feels like I left a big part of me in their world.

Am I crazy for feeling like this? Maybe I am, but every emotion I spend on each page of my dead tree is all worth it.

xx B

PS:
I haven't moved on yet. Really.